Tubes with acceptance

How do you deal with not being able to eat as a kid, one day you're able to eat anything you want then next thing you know you have a feeding tube keeping you alive. People always talk about you'll slowly come to terms with what is what happening in your life and you'll soon

be okay. I don't see how you can ever be okay with not eating again imagine the next 50 plus years just being tube fed. That isn't something you just accept and forget about it's something that always keeps you locked up. I see it more as something you deal with than something you just become okay with. Feeding tubes make you view the world so differently, having a device that 100% is keeping you alive is hard to wrap your head around. I will say this I don't believe accepting not being able to eat and being tube fed is ideal. I believe that it isn't something that we just accept but more or so something we deal with. #feedingtubeawarenessweek

Positivity with pain

Remaining positive while being ill has to be one of the hardest things possible. On the days were you honestly just feel like you are being crushed from every force imaginable but you are still try to see that "bright light" can be seriously frustrating. I call this the "bright light" because I feel like everyone talks about the light at the end of the tunnel that you're suppose to see because it signals that things will get better soon. Though how do you keep reaching for that light and remaining positive when life seems to just keep kicking you down. I think 100% positivity is overrated and that it's okay to feel done with everything somedays, the most important thing is to not fall deep into that void. Have your days to grieve over who you use to be before you became ill and the pain that came along with it and then after that brush off your hands then go back to war. Yes war, because it is a battle that you have to fight for the rest of your life. I'll leave you this quote that I've really been living by the past couple weeks. "

Remaining positive as possible during this life is hard, it's hard to keep remembering why you're still going. Though I believe that you live for those who can't right now and they live for you." This means that while you're down and suffering the other Chronic Illness warriors are living for you while you can't and when they are suffering you are living for them.

Wisdom with sickness

I look at life differently now. It's no longer this field of black n white but ultimately just a long ending river of grey. Sickness causes you to become self-aware of the world and the things within it.

You no longer view life as one giant flat surface but multiple layers of things yet to be discovered. I've noticed that the wisest people are the ones who've gone through the most hell. Those people realize that all the trivial things in life don't matter anymore what matters is right here what ever you're feeling in those particular moments. I believe being sick gives you this new profound wisdom that you've never had before and as children it really signifies how much we really aren't children anymore. I finally come to the conclusion that we might of lost our childhood but in reality we've gained much more.